No Tasting, No Dating...(Oral Sex: The New Requirement.)

So the new thing I'm hearing now is that if you aint giving up the lips then you gotta dip. Ya hear that non-head givers? You aint dateable if you aint down with giving some top. What will they come up with next? Forget about whether that person has children, stds, has a job,or an education...no, those are no longer requirements for dating someone. The new requirements are...

"Does that ni99a or b1+ch give head?!"

Since when has oral sex been a requirement for a relationship? Just because a person doesn't give head they aren't worthy of anything else? They might be the best guy/girl you may every meet but because they wont get their lips wet they are automatically ruled out??? Don't get me wrong, there are ppl that wont go down or let their mate go down on them simply because they think its wrong or degrading to their partner. But the ppl that enforce this rule, ya know who ya are. Do you really want a person thats all willy nilly with sucking or licking you from the get-go? I mean think bout it. You meet someone, you're getting to know them and you ask them do they give head and they answer "yea". Wouldn't you be curious to know how many ppl they went down on? I mean as long as their clean it shouldnt matter but.....lets say they went down on every person they slept with, and lets say thats 6 ppl...(realistically, the body count is usually wayyyy more) so in theory, wouldnt that mean a dude kissed a girl that sucked 6 dicks which means he kissed 6 dicks? (Theoretically). And lets not forget to mention if she swallows. Or for a chick, if the guy ate out all 6 sex partners wouldnt that mean you kissed 6 couchies??? I mean I'm just saying lets not crucify the people who arent #team-oral. Its one thing to say that sex can make or break a relationship but oral sex? But for some of you, oral sex is the only thing...like life without head is tragedy. It really shouldn't have a reflection on whether or not to date that person. But to each its own. Preferably, I like to get sticked rather than licked. It feels better ;).

SIDE BAR! Im forgetting to mention the ppl out there who want others to go down on them but dont want to reciprocate? You wont date a girl because she dont give head but even if that was the case, you dont plan to do the same anyway? Who the hell are you to tell someone that yeah, its alright if you put your lips on me but its disgusting for me to return the favor? Mainly guys say this because they feel that its wayy nastier to eat a girl out than for her to suck his dick. Both require the exchange of fluids so I don't understand how one is more disgusting than the other. Who the hell makes these rules anyway?

-Lazaguncarrier.

The Throw Back College Paper Part 2 (Rules To Platonic Friendships)

If you guys remember, the college throwback paper was an essay that I wrote in my first year of college titled: Can Men and Women Be Friends and Nothing More. I wrote that paper over 4 years ago and though that is a long time ago, some of the things I wrote in that paper I still stand behind....and the other things, I've been forced to look at differently. As I'm getting older, my ideology has evolved and is something I definitely wanna share. So I've came up with a few things I've concluded and that I find important in keeping a friendship between two people of the opposite sex, platonic. Based on relationships from myself and others, past and present. (Entertainment purposes only.)

-> Not all the friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend are out to fuck em', just some of them. :-)

Theres nothing like your mate having a friend that YOU know wants to be with them (or fuck them).

-->Be aware of the friends that constantly text or call your boyfriend/girlfriend. IDC, that shit is suspect, PAY ATTENTION. That's never a good sign. If they are a friend with good intentions, they wouldnt go so hard.

-->Your partners friends of the opposite sex should have a level of respect for your significant other...(no lines should be crossed). No disrespect! Or that person shouldn't be friends with you if they cant respect the person you are in a relationship with.

-->No one in the relationship should have a bestfriend of the opposite sex AFTER the relationship has begun. I stand firm to that. Your partner should be your bestfriend. NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Only if the bestfriend was there before ya started dating then its fine. If you cant deal with it dont stick around.

-->Your significant other shouldn't be spending money on a friend of the opposite sex unless they are helping them out, its a birthday/xmas present, favor, or anything of an innocent nature. And none of that spending OD amounts of "quality" time with each other. You shouldnt call your man/girl and he or she be like "oh im out with so and so, we at the movies chillen." Basically, ya man/lady went out on a date with her friend. :-/

-->You can like someone for their mind, personality, style, and company but there shouldn't be ANY attraction. Once there is an attraction, it can be hard (depending on how much you are attracted to that person) to curve those feelings. Which might = non sense that dont need to happen.

-->If you start liking or growing feelings for your friend, keep that shit to yourself. 89% of people in relationships (real talk) go back and tell their partner you feeling them. Then you stuck their wondering why your friend's mate don't like yo homewreching ass.

--> You got a friend of the opposite sex that seems to be real cool to talk with and you feel comfortable telling them ANYTHING... Tell them anything but dont tell them secrets about your relationship. Thats never a safe thing to do. The friend can use that against you (which happens often, based on actual findings.)

--> Do not attempt to be friends with the ex thats trying to get back with you. No fucking bueno. I shouldnt even have to elaborate on why this is wrong.

-->Dont be friends with your ex period if they not over you or you not over them....and if thats the case...well, thats a whole 'nother blog. I wont get into that now.

-->Make sure your friends respect your space and privacy.

-->Keep it a hundred in your relationship and in your friendship. Be genuine, considerate, and respectful and you will be able to keep your friends of the opposite sex and your relationship drama free (for the most part)

Notes from the author: I'm not bitter, scarred, insecure, or traumatized. I just know what it takes to have some-what of a drama free relationship. Some of you may not agree with my guidelines or feel that they are way too strict. These are somethings I just thought about to avoid the traps of falling for your friend or having your friend fall for you...more importantly, to not cause confrontation between you and your partner over someone thats just a friend.

With good intentions,

Lazaguncarrier

Do You Really Make her say "OHH".? (My First Sex Blog)

If I were to ask every guy I ever met on a scale from 1 to 10 how great their sex was, all would answer "I'ma 20" or "My shit is off the scale!" But realistically, niggas front. Not all but many. And its not their fault because some niggas actually think they are fantastic sex partners. But what makes a "fantastic" sex partner? Is it based on performance, endurance, creativity, foreplay...??? Sure, these are the qualities that make good dick great BUT, we forgot to mention one more thing....the ABILITY to make her have an orgasm. Doesn't that make sense? A nigga can go for hours, have you in all kinds of crazy positions, toot it and boot it and after allllllllllll of that, he still can't make you cum? I'm not saying that if he cant bring u to an orgasm then he's not a good sex partner....Or is that what I'm trying to say? Fellas, do you still think you are a good sex partner even if she doesn't come? To me, I thought that was the whole point of sex, for both parties to have an orgasm. No? I mean, sex can still be enjoyable even if the girl doesn't climax but still.....I don't know who I should hold responsible for this.

Women, ya be lying, telling these guys ya came and ya really didnt, making these dudes believe they got the magic stick...now he thinks he knows what he's doing when he really doesn't. Ladies, if you didnt come, THEN YOU DIDNT COME! Its ok. Many women go there whole life not experiencing ONE orgasm. Sad isnt it? That's because they're lying to these niggas just to make them feel good when really, they should be teaching a guy how to please her to the point she can experience that satisfaction. Now wait, its not easy for us females to have an orgasm unlike you guys who dont even have to put it in and can get off in a snap of a finger. For most, it takes concentration or a high level of arousal to make a female reach that point. And from what I understand, the clitoris has to be stimulated in order to have an orgasm. So lets say that you are fucking a girl from behind and she not touching her clit and you not touching her clit and her legs are not tightly squeezed together and she claims that she "came". She's lying unless she got some special sex powers other women don't have. And dudes, ya to blame too because ya suppose to be great sex partners and half of you dont know about any of this that Im blogging about... do you know where to find a woman's g-spot? Do you know that clitoris stimulation is important to the orgasm of a female? If you dont know these things than you cant be a great sex partner. Unless you do know these things and just dont wanna put in the work to make a girl cum. Then, you're just a whack sex partner and Ima tell all the girls not to fuck you...lmao. So the next time you getting busy with a shorty...and you get yours off, and she said she got hers off, while your putting back on your clothes. pulling the condom off, or laying down beside her, ask yourself...did you really make her say "ohh"?

-Lazaguncarrier

Fronting Like You Do It For TV! (Laza's opinion on social networks.)

Social networks seem to be a big deal these days. Aside from setting an alarm to wake up every morning, bathing everyday, and buying a metro card every paycheck, sending a tweet or posting a status on facebook has become a part of our routines composed in daily life. They are habitual and addictive. We have these apps on our phone, we login through our computers, we go on thru other people devices...yes its gotten real serious. We have the ability to let others know what we are doing almost every second of the day. Crazy, right???



Just because we have these abilities, does it mean that we have to utilize them? I mean, lets keep it funky for pete's sake...do we really care if you have something in your eye? Or if you have problems sleeping? No, not at all. We are all guilty of it. Posting non important or irrelvant shit that has nothing to do with everyone else. But thats what social networking is all about. Social networks are designed for us to write about our business. Its not about getting yourself out there. Yea, it can be used for promotion but some of us have nothing to promote but what we do in our lives. And Im not knocking anyone for that for each and one of us are free to write whatever the fuck we want. My thing is, when you write and post certain material, becareful of your viewers or dont complain when the things you write gets back to other people who you dont want to know your business.



Facebook and Twitter, lets make this clear, are entirely two different networks. One is more personal than the other. Twitter is made for short, bullshit statuses, facebook isnt. And more than likely, Facebook is a network where majority of the ppl you befriend are ppl you know personally. Twitter is a network where most of your followers are strangers.



There is one thing about social networks that grinds my gears...and that is the people that use them. There are several types of annoying people that use social networks that makes others hate the whole social networking thing all in one.



First you got the people who say everything they are doing.....all the time! Bout to take a shit...bout to go to the store...on 161st...in my car....
Facebook aint for that! I shouldnt be able to tell you how your whole day went by reading your statuses....thats wayyy too much information...



Then you got the people who write about how bad their relationships is, slandering their partner, then 16hrs later writing about how much they love that person. Your friend list doesnt need to know how dysfunctional your relationship is. Its cool to vent but not to the point where ppl can look on your status and know exactly WHO and WHAT you are talking about. Either write about a happy relationship or dont post anything about it at all.



Third, are the people that mix their business with their personal life. Attention models, rappers, singers, artist, promoters, actors...separate facebook or twitter pages are recommended to support or advertise your craft. Having a photo album of flicks from your show or half naked pics from your shoot and then the album next to it has pics from a family outing with ya moms, grandparents and aunts might be a lil.....idk, not professional? Its a conflict of interest. Whatever it is tht your into should be kept separate from your family life.



Fourth are the people who use these networks to try to live a separate life. In reality, you're a married woman with 2 kids and you work for con-edison...but on twitter and facebook...your a single woman who loves to party who's a bartender and is up for ANYTHING. How you two different ppl??? Smh.



Fifth. Ever knew two people who go out with each other who both have facebook accounts but dont have each other as friends? One of them is living foul because why wouldnt you have your significant other as a friend on facebook? Arent ya friends in real life? If you have nothing to hide and are being faithful and honest, I dont see what the big deal is, why two ppl who date cant be friends on a social network if everything is legit and copasetic. But usually its not. Its almost always suspect. You finally break into the page or someone runs back and tells you that your girlfriend or boyfriend is kissing up on some other person in a picture not accessible to you. Dont blame social networks for that, blame your partner for going on a social network trying to live a separate life. The person caught is quick to say that it is everyones fault but their own.
When they are the ones incriminating themselves by posting shit that will get them in trouble.



Sixth, theres the suffocators. The girlfriend that ALWAYS gotta write something on your wall or always have to write something pertaining to you just to let the whole world know that you are hers and she is yours. She even changed her last name to yours and ya not even engaged. She gotta see every new person you add and has something to say everytime a female writes on your wall. We get the picture. We know already. Stop super cuffing.



Seventh, are the spies. The most un-suspecting people running back telling ya business to ppl you dont want to know. They check ya page daily and repeat the shit you write.


Last but not least, you got the people that front like they do it for tv... the ppl who so call have this and that, or do this and that. Trying to convince others that they live a certain way but in reality, how they actually live, is nothing similar. Straight lying. Fronting for people who dont know them. Or trying to trick the people that do.



Which social network person are you?

So it was in the beginning, so it be in the end.

What is it about the beginning of something new that crumbles down to a bumpy middle, and then finally comes to a rough ending?

Perfect examples of this are relationships. They start off swell, towards the middle there's turbulence and when its time to come to a closing, its either you survive the wreck or become one.

We behave good in the beginning, showing the other person what we want them to see, our representative. We dont burp or fart at the table. We dont pick out wedgies. We're polite, respectful, and we do our very best to keep them around. We have so much trust in them that we give them passwords to everything, we see certain things we dont like and ignore it, and we give that other person whatever they want.

The middle, this is where shit gets real. Our representative is worn out. Our TRUE selves come to front row. We are very comfortable. And if we are too comfortable, this might be the middle of the end. Uncensored arguments, no more frequent texts or calls, no more picking up that person from work or surprising them with random gifts, trust, loyalty, and honor are questioned. This is the shit relationships are made of. Your patience, tolerance, integrity, and dignity are challenged...This is the part where you are forced to decide will you rather live in that persons world....or live without them in yours.

In the end, time is put to the test. Even though when its over, its over. Hours, days, weeks, months, and years wont be the deciding factor if someone decides to stick around. At this point, if the good out weighs the bad, it might not be the end. Its safe to assume that both are guilty of wrong, being able to point the finger at each other. Innocence is gone. Very often its not easy for this to be the end. There may be children involved, property, lawyers, money. You never exit the relationship with what you entered with. You come out with less than what you came in with, or you leave with more which can be good or bad.

If its not over in the end, relationships can return to the beginning stages. Or sometimes it really is, the dreadful end. The relationship may be reduced down to a friendship, just sex partners, a partial relationship, or nothing at all. Nothing at all is best, for its no strings attached and both are free to go there separate ways with a clear conscience and a new beginning.

Identifying the Non-Pulling Out Nigga (The Part I Forgot To Mention)

So I was talking to my homeboy the other day and he was like yo Vor, why you aint expose the chicks in your blog about the non-pulling out nigga? I'm like what you mean? He said, "They be liking that shit, they don't want us to pull out, they are just as responsible as we are!"

I thought about that for a second...

And I decided that he had a point...

My blogs can be one-sided at times and I apologize for that (fellas) and yes, ladies, ya play a part when it comes to that too. Most of you chicks KNOW your man is a non pulling out nigga and yet, ya still don't go the distance to protect yourselves. Ya just keep letting him nut in you over, and over, and over, and over, again until something happens and THEN you want to point the finger? Not fair. Take responsibility for your body. If you see the nigga not giving a fuck then who else gonna care about what happens to you? Remember, you are the one that either is going to carry a baby for 9 months or get a fetus sucked out of you. Not him. Stop letting guys control what's gonna happen to your body. We females cant exactly predict when a guy is about to have an orgasm and push him off of us but if you know his timing is bad, his no-condom privileges should be revoked until he learns how to have some control. Simple.

Fun Fact: The pulling out method is not 100% effective because a woman can still get pregnant from pre-seminal fluid.

Over. Out.

"Male and Female Friendships"(The Throwback College Paper)

School: Bronx Community College

Semester: Fall 2006

Grade: A

Note: Essay based on old point of views. Another blog will follow expressing new point of views.

Can Males and Females be Friends and Want Nothing More From Each Other?

"Shavoir, who are you talking to on the phone?" asked my boyfriend. I was on the phone for about a half an hour and it wasn't sounding like I was speaking to one of my girlfriends. Automatically, I knew what my boyfriend was trying to insinuate when he asked me that question. So I told him it was one of my male friends. Why did I do that? For the rest of my conversation with whoever it was I had to deal with his teeth sucking, feet stomping and any other noises he created to display his anger. When I finally got off the phone I asked him, "What's your problem?"

"You know he likes you, right?"

"Don't be silly, he's just a friend. He only sees me as a friend."

"Nonsense, Shavoir. Two people of the opposite sex can't see each other just as being friends. Either one likes the other or they both like each other. Males and females can't be friends. It's just that simple."

"You're crazy," I told him. Deep down though, I knew hew was right. My male friend did like me. Of course I would never admit that to him. As he lectured me for about 15 minutes on why girls and guys cant be friends I wondered was what he was saying true when it came to other people? Can males and females really share a platonic friendship?

Speaking from my own experience I can answer that question with a "no." Almost every friendship I had and still have with a male, either he liked me, I liked him, or we both liked each other. The only time this did not occur was when my male friends were gay. I guess this question depends on the individuals involved in the friendship. I can't say that it is impossible for males and females to be friends (platonically) just because it never happened to me before. I can only say that it depends on the circumstance in which the male and female are friends.

A case where I believe that men and women can be friends is if one of the individuals are gay, both people find each other unattractive physically, intellectually, and emotionally, has already had a previous romantic relationship with each other, or both have the up most respect for their friendship not to cross the line.

A case where I believe that there is a big change that these two sexes can't be friends is if one or both of the friends find each other attractive, aren't gay, have an intellectual or emotional connection or enjoy each others companionship. In a scenario like this, regardless of whether or not if the two people have significant others, a platonic friendship CANNOT exist. I say this not because of my own experiences or anyone else's but because we are human. Humans are going to be naturally attracted to each other because of who we are. Humans all have basic needs and wants that must be fulfilled, and have desires for people we find attractive.

The idea I am basically trying to convey is that whether or not a platonic friendship can exist depends on the two people in the friendship. I have known this to happen but majority of the time there is a possibility that one might like the other and he or she might not feel the same. When this occurs its hard to maintain the friendship because the person who wants more than a friendship is going to feel rejected by his or her friend and eventually the friendship might come to a close. So in a way I understand my boyfriend's point of view about how a male and a female can't truly be friends. However, I still believe that platonic friendships between a male and a female can still exist. Do you believe so?

(My professor answered "yes.")