Fronting Like You Do It For TV! (Laza's opinion on social networks.)

Social networks seem to be a big deal these days. Aside from setting an alarm to wake up every morning, bathing everyday, and buying a metro card every paycheck, sending a tweet or posting a status on facebook has become a part of our routines composed in daily life. They are habitual and addictive. We have these apps on our phone, we login through our computers, we go on thru other people devices...yes its gotten real serious. We have the ability to let others know what we are doing almost every second of the day. Crazy, right???



Just because we have these abilities, does it mean that we have to utilize them? I mean, lets keep it funky for pete's sake...do we really care if you have something in your eye? Or if you have problems sleeping? No, not at all. We are all guilty of it. Posting non important or irrelvant shit that has nothing to do with everyone else. But thats what social networking is all about. Social networks are designed for us to write about our business. Its not about getting yourself out there. Yea, it can be used for promotion but some of us have nothing to promote but what we do in our lives. And Im not knocking anyone for that for each and one of us are free to write whatever the fuck we want. My thing is, when you write and post certain material, becareful of your viewers or dont complain when the things you write gets back to other people who you dont want to know your business.



Facebook and Twitter, lets make this clear, are entirely two different networks. One is more personal than the other. Twitter is made for short, bullshit statuses, facebook isnt. And more than likely, Facebook is a network where majority of the ppl you befriend are ppl you know personally. Twitter is a network where most of your followers are strangers.



There is one thing about social networks that grinds my gears...and that is the people that use them. There are several types of annoying people that use social networks that makes others hate the whole social networking thing all in one.



First you got the people who say everything they are doing.....all the time! Bout to take a shit...bout to go to the store...on 161st...in my car....
Facebook aint for that! I shouldnt be able to tell you how your whole day went by reading your statuses....thats wayyy too much information...



Then you got the people who write about how bad their relationships is, slandering their partner, then 16hrs later writing about how much they love that person. Your friend list doesnt need to know how dysfunctional your relationship is. Its cool to vent but not to the point where ppl can look on your status and know exactly WHO and WHAT you are talking about. Either write about a happy relationship or dont post anything about it at all.



Third, are the people that mix their business with their personal life. Attention models, rappers, singers, artist, promoters, actors...separate facebook or twitter pages are recommended to support or advertise your craft. Having a photo album of flicks from your show or half naked pics from your shoot and then the album next to it has pics from a family outing with ya moms, grandparents and aunts might be a lil.....idk, not professional? Its a conflict of interest. Whatever it is tht your into should be kept separate from your family life.



Fourth are the people who use these networks to try to live a separate life. In reality, you're a married woman with 2 kids and you work for con-edison...but on twitter and facebook...your a single woman who loves to party who's a bartender and is up for ANYTHING. How you two different ppl??? Smh.



Fifth. Ever knew two people who go out with each other who both have facebook accounts but dont have each other as friends? One of them is living foul because why wouldnt you have your significant other as a friend on facebook? Arent ya friends in real life? If you have nothing to hide and are being faithful and honest, I dont see what the big deal is, why two ppl who date cant be friends on a social network if everything is legit and copasetic. But usually its not. Its almost always suspect. You finally break into the page or someone runs back and tells you that your girlfriend or boyfriend is kissing up on some other person in a picture not accessible to you. Dont blame social networks for that, blame your partner for going on a social network trying to live a separate life. The person caught is quick to say that it is everyones fault but their own.
When they are the ones incriminating themselves by posting shit that will get them in trouble.



Sixth, theres the suffocators. The girlfriend that ALWAYS gotta write something on your wall or always have to write something pertaining to you just to let the whole world know that you are hers and she is yours. She even changed her last name to yours and ya not even engaged. She gotta see every new person you add and has something to say everytime a female writes on your wall. We get the picture. We know already. Stop super cuffing.



Seventh, are the spies. The most un-suspecting people running back telling ya business to ppl you dont want to know. They check ya page daily and repeat the shit you write.


Last but not least, you got the people that front like they do it for tv... the ppl who so call have this and that, or do this and that. Trying to convince others that they live a certain way but in reality, how they actually live, is nothing similar. Straight lying. Fronting for people who dont know them. Or trying to trick the people that do.



Which social network person are you?

So it was in the beginning, so it be in the end.

What is it about the beginning of something new that crumbles down to a bumpy middle, and then finally comes to a rough ending?

Perfect examples of this are relationships. They start off swell, towards the middle there's turbulence and when its time to come to a closing, its either you survive the wreck or become one.

We behave good in the beginning, showing the other person what we want them to see, our representative. We dont burp or fart at the table. We dont pick out wedgies. We're polite, respectful, and we do our very best to keep them around. We have so much trust in them that we give them passwords to everything, we see certain things we dont like and ignore it, and we give that other person whatever they want.

The middle, this is where shit gets real. Our representative is worn out. Our TRUE selves come to front row. We are very comfortable. And if we are too comfortable, this might be the middle of the end. Uncensored arguments, no more frequent texts or calls, no more picking up that person from work or surprising them with random gifts, trust, loyalty, and honor are questioned. This is the shit relationships are made of. Your patience, tolerance, integrity, and dignity are challenged...This is the part where you are forced to decide will you rather live in that persons world....or live without them in yours.

In the end, time is put to the test. Even though when its over, its over. Hours, days, weeks, months, and years wont be the deciding factor if someone decides to stick around. At this point, if the good out weighs the bad, it might not be the end. Its safe to assume that both are guilty of wrong, being able to point the finger at each other. Innocence is gone. Very often its not easy for this to be the end. There may be children involved, property, lawyers, money. You never exit the relationship with what you entered with. You come out with less than what you came in with, or you leave with more which can be good or bad.

If its not over in the end, relationships can return to the beginning stages. Or sometimes it really is, the dreadful end. The relationship may be reduced down to a friendship, just sex partners, a partial relationship, or nothing at all. Nothing at all is best, for its no strings attached and both are free to go there separate ways with a clear conscience and a new beginning.

Identifying the Non-Pulling Out Nigga (The Part I Forgot To Mention)

So I was talking to my homeboy the other day and he was like yo Vor, why you aint expose the chicks in your blog about the non-pulling out nigga? I'm like what you mean? He said, "They be liking that shit, they don't want us to pull out, they are just as responsible as we are!"

I thought about that for a second...

And I decided that he had a point...

My blogs can be one-sided at times and I apologize for that (fellas) and yes, ladies, ya play a part when it comes to that too. Most of you chicks KNOW your man is a non pulling out nigga and yet, ya still don't go the distance to protect yourselves. Ya just keep letting him nut in you over, and over, and over, and over, again until something happens and THEN you want to point the finger? Not fair. Take responsibility for your body. If you see the nigga not giving a fuck then who else gonna care about what happens to you? Remember, you are the one that either is going to carry a baby for 9 months or get a fetus sucked out of you. Not him. Stop letting guys control what's gonna happen to your body. We females cant exactly predict when a guy is about to have an orgasm and push him off of us but if you know his timing is bad, his no-condom privileges should be revoked until he learns how to have some control. Simple.

Fun Fact: The pulling out method is not 100% effective because a woman can still get pregnant from pre-seminal fluid.

Over. Out.

"Male and Female Friendships"(The Throwback College Paper)

School: Bronx Community College

Semester: Fall 2006

Grade: A

Note: Essay based on old point of views. Another blog will follow expressing new point of views.

Can Males and Females be Friends and Want Nothing More From Each Other?

"Shavoir, who are you talking to on the phone?" asked my boyfriend. I was on the phone for about a half an hour and it wasn't sounding like I was speaking to one of my girlfriends. Automatically, I knew what my boyfriend was trying to insinuate when he asked me that question. So I told him it was one of my male friends. Why did I do that? For the rest of my conversation with whoever it was I had to deal with his teeth sucking, feet stomping and any other noises he created to display his anger. When I finally got off the phone I asked him, "What's your problem?"

"You know he likes you, right?"

"Don't be silly, he's just a friend. He only sees me as a friend."

"Nonsense, Shavoir. Two people of the opposite sex can't see each other just as being friends. Either one likes the other or they both like each other. Males and females can't be friends. It's just that simple."

"You're crazy," I told him. Deep down though, I knew hew was right. My male friend did like me. Of course I would never admit that to him. As he lectured me for about 15 minutes on why girls and guys cant be friends I wondered was what he was saying true when it came to other people? Can males and females really share a platonic friendship?

Speaking from my own experience I can answer that question with a "no." Almost every friendship I had and still have with a male, either he liked me, I liked him, or we both liked each other. The only time this did not occur was when my male friends were gay. I guess this question depends on the individuals involved in the friendship. I can't say that it is impossible for males and females to be friends (platonically) just because it never happened to me before. I can only say that it depends on the circumstance in which the male and female are friends.

A case where I believe that men and women can be friends is if one of the individuals are gay, both people find each other unattractive physically, intellectually, and emotionally, has already had a previous romantic relationship with each other, or both have the up most respect for their friendship not to cross the line.

A case where I believe that there is a big change that these two sexes can't be friends is if one or both of the friends find each other attractive, aren't gay, have an intellectual or emotional connection or enjoy each others companionship. In a scenario like this, regardless of whether or not if the two people have significant others, a platonic friendship CANNOT exist. I say this not because of my own experiences or anyone else's but because we are human. Humans are going to be naturally attracted to each other because of who we are. Humans all have basic needs and wants that must be fulfilled, and have desires for people we find attractive.

The idea I am basically trying to convey is that whether or not a platonic friendship can exist depends on the two people in the friendship. I have known this to happen but majority of the time there is a possibility that one might like the other and he or she might not feel the same. When this occurs its hard to maintain the friendship because the person who wants more than a friendship is going to feel rejected by his or her friend and eventually the friendship might come to a close. So in a way I understand my boyfriend's point of view about how a male and a female can't truly be friends. However, I still believe that platonic friendships between a male and a female can still exist. Do you believe so?

(My professor answered "yes.")

The "Light-Skinned, Long Haired Girl" Complex (My First College Paper to Make My Blog)

My professor asked my class to write a paper on how we define ourselves (or how others define us) and explain the problems we face with our identity.

School: Wood Tobe-Coburn College

Semester: Fall 2010

Grade: A-

When people see me, I'm often judged before I even open my mouth. A light-skinned black girl with long REAL hair, yeah, that's me. One of two assumptions is usually made: 1)I'm soft, or 2)Im stuck-up. Well I'm glad to say that I'm neither! There's not a stuck up bone in my body and I'm far from a softy. But only the person who took the time out to get to know me would know that I'm the opposite of what many would believe about that kind of girl. Make no mistake, the cocky light-skinned girl and the punk ass light-skinned girl does exist, but they are not as common as most think. Because of the bad rep light-skinned girls have, I'm almost always defending my identity.

Up until...today, people ask me am I mixed. I'm part Filipino along with some other things. However, I still consider myself a black woman. Anytime someone sees a light-skinned girl with long hair they automatically think that they are mixed. Even though there are plenty of light-skinned (and dark-skinned) black females that aren't mixed like I am and have beautiful long hair. This is one of many misconceptions made about the light-skinned girl. That we are all mixed with some other nationality.

Growing up, I remember at some point I wanted to be dark-skinned. Going to school in the Bronx was fine because majority of the kids were hispanic so my features helped me "blend" in. When I first moved to Brooklyn I was six. I was entering this classroom and I was the only one of my "kind". When you're a shy six year-old in a new class, thats the last thing you want to be: "rare", or uncommon. My shy and quiet personality plus my looks made me a target for trouble. I spent half my time in elementary school proving that under all my hair and my complexion, I'm a tough cookie. I always thought that if I were dark skinned I wouldn't have to go so hard to stand up for myself. Every time I switched schools, the same things would occur. The boys would love me, and the girls would be jealous. As I got older and I slowly came out of my shyness, people's theories about me began to change. Great! I went from having to prove to people that I'm not this punk, naive, innocent girl to I'm not some kind of snob that walks around thinking she's the shit. Now a days, people assume either about me or both. Most of the people who assume those things are always wrong and when they get to know me, are in shock. I'm a cool, humble, and tough chick.

Why do people have these assumptions about light-skinned girls? That's a million dollar question that you would have to ask the person that's in charge of judging. As far as other women thinking that we think we are better or "most-preferred" I blame that on the dark skinned man. How often do you see a dark skinned man and a dark skinned girl together? Not often. And how often do you see a dark-skinned man and a light-skinned woman? Very often. I hear men; especially dark-skinned men talk about how they prefer a light-skinned girl or sometimes they dont even want a shorty to be black and light-skinned! You would think it was some type of secret that makes us more special than the other women. I hardly hear a guy talk profoundly about a dark-skinned girl. I never understood that. If there is a light-skinned cute girl standing next to a dark-skinned cute girl, majority of the time the guy chooses the light skin girl. I hate that. To me, its no difference. Beauty is beauty. This is why there's so much tension between the two complexions. Because certain men make it seem as though one is better than the other. If you want to go deeper, lets take it back to slavery, when the master used to rape the female slaves. The female slaves would get pregnant and have light-skin kids, causing issues between the two. It's not easy being light skin, and its not easy being dark-skin. We both face situations where we are forced to prove someone right or wrong. I don't know for certain. Im just theorizing here.

My looks are only a segment of who I am. Neither my complexion nor hair defines me. I define my physical appearance. There is so much more to my identity that just what is on the exterior. My personality, my intellect, my demeanor, those are the qualities that represent me. I'm strong and confident not because of how I look but because of my perception of life. The next time you see a light-skinned girl, do me a favor, and let her tell you who she is, don't try to figure it out.

The Power of a Label. (Owning up to a "Username")

Dating back to when AIM first became popular, I could remember all the crazy ass screenames I used to see. Names like Diva981and Don123, I remember thinking to myself, "hey, I know these people in person, and they are most certainly not divas or dons. But if you had their AIM Screename and didnt know them personally, you would really think they were some motherfukking dons and divas. Lol. But that was long ago. Now, people are calling themselves all type of shit, some I believe dont even know the TRUE meaning of what they call themselves. Yea, I know, it's just "Twitter", "Facebook", "MySpace"...etc. But when you try to live up to a label, it becomes more than just that. And what's even more sillier than trying to live up to a label is giving other people a label. Labels like "Bum", "Basic", "Lame", etc... are thrown around frequently to the person they dislike or dont even know. Like, who the fuck are YOU to call someone 'basic" or "lame"? So what are you? "Un-basic", and "un-lame"? Ya kill me with that shit. And majority of the time. And im dead ass, cause I be on this social networking ish hard,8 outta 10 of who call others these labels, fall into the category of lame or basic. Can't tell them that though. Because PrettyPoppin917 is pretty and fucking poppin and has every right to call Cutegirl516 a basic bitch. Smh. And I dont have a conclusion or a point I'm trying to draw. I'll leave that up to you, the reader. Some of ya thinking I'm going in because someone called me "basic" or "lame". Ha. No. Just an early morning blog written from the top of my head. And again, If you are offended by this blog, then you're probably that basic bitch that thinks she is "Oso Poppin", or that bum dude that is "GucciDown"...(shrugs shoulders). See me, Im just the Lazaguncarrier.

Identifying The Non-Pulling Out Nigga. (Yupp!)

Morning. :)

So I realized this isn't a subject I've touched on yet. But its most certainly an issue.

What is a non-pulling out nigga?

Lets first describe what a pulling out nigga is:

A pulling out nigga is a dude that has unprotected sex with a girl and relies on his "timing' to pull out before he ejaculates inside her to avoid pregnancy.

A non-pulling out nigga is a dude that has unprotected sex with a girl and TRIES BUT FAILS/OR DOESNT CARE to pull out on time before he ejaculates.

Classifying the non-pullion out nigga:

They come in all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds.
You cant tell if he's a non-pulling out nigga just by looking at him.

Things you should know about this type of person:

There are two types: There are the ones that try to pull out but lack control and then there are dudes that dont try at all and dont care about pulling out. This type is very dangerous.

7 outta 10 times the non-pulling out nigga doesnt even want children.

The mentality of that 7 expects you to have an abortion or isn't trying to deal with you if you are keeping it. Real talk.

How to avoid the consequences of a non-pulling out nigga:

-->Condoms.
-->Learn from prior mistakes.
-->Plan B (Morning After Pill)
-->Birth Control

Please, protect yourself from the non-pulling out nigga.