Semester: Fall 2006
Grade: A
Note: Essay based on old point of views. Another blog will follow expressing new point of views.
Can Males and Females be Friends and Want Nothing More From Each Other?
"Shavoir, who are you talking to on the phone?" asked my boyfriend. I was on the phone for about a half an hour and it wasn't sounding like I was speaking to one of my girlfriends. Automatically, I knew what my boyfriend was trying to insinuate when he asked me that question. So I told him it was one of my male friends. Why did I do that? For the rest of my conversation with whoever it was I had to deal with his teeth sucking, feet stomping and any other noises he created to display his anger. When I finally got off the phone I asked him, "What's your problem?"
"You know he likes you, right?"
"Don't be silly, he's just a friend. He only sees me as a friend."
"Nonsense, Shavoir. Two people of the opposite sex can't see each other just as being friends. Either one likes the other or they both like each other. Males and females can't be friends. It's just that simple."
"You're crazy," I told him. Deep down though, I knew hew was right. My male friend did like me. Of course I would never admit that to him. As he lectured me for about 15 minutes on why girls and guys cant be friends I wondered was what he was saying true when it came to other people? Can males and females really share a platonic friendship?
Speaking from my own experience I can answer that question with a "no." Almost every friendship I had and still have with a male, either he liked me, I liked him, or we both liked each other. The only time this did not occur was when my male friends were gay. I guess this question depends on the individuals involved in the friendship. I can't say that it is impossible for males and females to be friends (platonically) just because it never happened to me before. I can only say that it depends on the circumstance in which the male and female are friends.
A case where I believe that men and women can be friends is if one of the individuals are gay, both people find each other unattractive physically, intellectually, and emotionally, has already had a previous romantic relationship with each other, or both have the up most respect for their friendship not to cross the line.
A case where I believe that there is a big change that these two sexes can't be friends is if one or both of the friends find each other attractive, aren't gay, have an intellectual or emotional connection or enjoy each others companionship. In a scenario like this, regardless of whether or not if the two people have significant others, a platonic friendship CANNOT exist. I say this not because of my own experiences or anyone else's but because we are human. Humans are going to be naturally attracted to each other because of who we are. Humans all have basic needs and wants that must be fulfilled, and have desires for people we find attractive.
The idea I am basically trying to convey is that whether or not a platonic friendship can exist depends on the two people in the friendship. I have known this to happen but majority of the time there is a possibility that one might like the other and he or she might not feel the same. When this occurs its hard to maintain the friendship because the person who wants more than a friendship is going to feel rejected by his or her friend and eventually the friendship might come to a close. So in a way I understand my boyfriend's point of view about how a male and a female can't truly be friends. However, I still believe that platonic friendships between a male and a female can still exist. Do you believe so?
(My professor answered "yes.")
No comments:
Post a Comment