No Tasting, No Dating...(Oral Sex: The New Requirement.)

So the new thing I'm hearing now is that if you aint giving up the lips then you gotta dip. Ya hear that non-head givers? You aint dateable if you aint down with giving some top. What will they come up with next? Forget about whether that person has children, stds, has a job,or an education...no, those are no longer requirements for dating someone. The new requirements are...

"Does that ni99a or b1+ch give head?!"

Since when has oral sex been a requirement for a relationship? Just because a person doesn't give head they aren't worthy of anything else? They might be the best guy/girl you may every meet but because they wont get their lips wet they are automatically ruled out??? Don't get me wrong, there are ppl that wont go down or let their mate go down on them simply because they think its wrong or degrading to their partner. But the ppl that enforce this rule, ya know who ya are. Do you really want a person thats all willy nilly with sucking or licking you from the get-go? I mean think bout it. You meet someone, you're getting to know them and you ask them do they give head and they answer "yea". Wouldn't you be curious to know how many ppl they went down on? I mean as long as their clean it shouldnt matter but.....lets say they went down on every person they slept with, and lets say thats 6 ppl...(realistically, the body count is usually wayyyy more) so in theory, wouldnt that mean a dude kissed a girl that sucked 6 dicks which means he kissed 6 dicks? (Theoretically). And lets not forget to mention if she swallows. Or for a chick, if the guy ate out all 6 sex partners wouldnt that mean you kissed 6 couchies??? I mean I'm just saying lets not crucify the people who arent #team-oral. Its one thing to say that sex can make or break a relationship but oral sex? But for some of you, oral sex is the only thing...like life without head is tragedy. It really shouldn't have a reflection on whether or not to date that person. But to each its own. Preferably, I like to get sticked rather than licked. It feels better ;).

SIDE BAR! Im forgetting to mention the ppl out there who want others to go down on them but dont want to reciprocate? You wont date a girl because she dont give head but even if that was the case, you dont plan to do the same anyway? Who the hell are you to tell someone that yeah, its alright if you put your lips on me but its disgusting for me to return the favor? Mainly guys say this because they feel that its wayy nastier to eat a girl out than for her to suck his dick. Both require the exchange of fluids so I don't understand how one is more disgusting than the other. Who the hell makes these rules anyway?

-Lazaguncarrier.

The Throw Back College Paper Part 2 (Rules To Platonic Friendships)

If you guys remember, the college throwback paper was an essay that I wrote in my first year of college titled: Can Men and Women Be Friends and Nothing More. I wrote that paper over 4 years ago and though that is a long time ago, some of the things I wrote in that paper I still stand behind....and the other things, I've been forced to look at differently. As I'm getting older, my ideology has evolved and is something I definitely wanna share. So I've came up with a few things I've concluded and that I find important in keeping a friendship between two people of the opposite sex, platonic. Based on relationships from myself and others, past and present. (Entertainment purposes only.)

-> Not all the friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend are out to fuck em', just some of them. :-)

Theres nothing like your mate having a friend that YOU know wants to be with them (or fuck them).

-->Be aware of the friends that constantly text or call your boyfriend/girlfriend. IDC, that shit is suspect, PAY ATTENTION. That's never a good sign. If they are a friend with good intentions, they wouldnt go so hard.

-->Your partners friends of the opposite sex should have a level of respect for your significant other...(no lines should be crossed). No disrespect! Or that person shouldn't be friends with you if they cant respect the person you are in a relationship with.

-->No one in the relationship should have a bestfriend of the opposite sex AFTER the relationship has begun. I stand firm to that. Your partner should be your bestfriend. NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Only if the bestfriend was there before ya started dating then its fine. If you cant deal with it dont stick around.

-->Your significant other shouldn't be spending money on a friend of the opposite sex unless they are helping them out, its a birthday/xmas present, favor, or anything of an innocent nature. And none of that spending OD amounts of "quality" time with each other. You shouldnt call your man/girl and he or she be like "oh im out with so and so, we at the movies chillen." Basically, ya man/lady went out on a date with her friend. :-/

-->You can like someone for their mind, personality, style, and company but there shouldn't be ANY attraction. Once there is an attraction, it can be hard (depending on how much you are attracted to that person) to curve those feelings. Which might = non sense that dont need to happen.

-->If you start liking or growing feelings for your friend, keep that shit to yourself. 89% of people in relationships (real talk) go back and tell their partner you feeling them. Then you stuck their wondering why your friend's mate don't like yo homewreching ass.

--> You got a friend of the opposite sex that seems to be real cool to talk with and you feel comfortable telling them ANYTHING... Tell them anything but dont tell them secrets about your relationship. Thats never a safe thing to do. The friend can use that against you (which happens often, based on actual findings.)

--> Do not attempt to be friends with the ex thats trying to get back with you. No fucking bueno. I shouldnt even have to elaborate on why this is wrong.

-->Dont be friends with your ex period if they not over you or you not over them....and if thats the case...well, thats a whole 'nother blog. I wont get into that now.

-->Make sure your friends respect your space and privacy.

-->Keep it a hundred in your relationship and in your friendship. Be genuine, considerate, and respectful and you will be able to keep your friends of the opposite sex and your relationship drama free (for the most part)

Notes from the author: I'm not bitter, scarred, insecure, or traumatized. I just know what it takes to have some-what of a drama free relationship. Some of you may not agree with my guidelines or feel that they are way too strict. These are somethings I just thought about to avoid the traps of falling for your friend or having your friend fall for you...more importantly, to not cause confrontation between you and your partner over someone thats just a friend.

With good intentions,

Lazaguncarrier

Do You Really Make her say "OHH".? (My First Sex Blog)

If I were to ask every guy I ever met on a scale from 1 to 10 how great their sex was, all would answer "I'ma 20" or "My shit is off the scale!" But realistically, niggas front. Not all but many. And its not their fault because some niggas actually think they are fantastic sex partners. But what makes a "fantastic" sex partner? Is it based on performance, endurance, creativity, foreplay...??? Sure, these are the qualities that make good dick great BUT, we forgot to mention one more thing....the ABILITY to make her have an orgasm. Doesn't that make sense? A nigga can go for hours, have you in all kinds of crazy positions, toot it and boot it and after allllllllllll of that, he still can't make you cum? I'm not saying that if he cant bring u to an orgasm then he's not a good sex partner....Or is that what I'm trying to say? Fellas, do you still think you are a good sex partner even if she doesn't come? To me, I thought that was the whole point of sex, for both parties to have an orgasm. No? I mean, sex can still be enjoyable even if the girl doesn't climax but still.....I don't know who I should hold responsible for this.

Women, ya be lying, telling these guys ya came and ya really didnt, making these dudes believe they got the magic stick...now he thinks he knows what he's doing when he really doesn't. Ladies, if you didnt come, THEN YOU DIDNT COME! Its ok. Many women go there whole life not experiencing ONE orgasm. Sad isnt it? That's because they're lying to these niggas just to make them feel good when really, they should be teaching a guy how to please her to the point she can experience that satisfaction. Now wait, its not easy for us females to have an orgasm unlike you guys who dont even have to put it in and can get off in a snap of a finger. For most, it takes concentration or a high level of arousal to make a female reach that point. And from what I understand, the clitoris has to be stimulated in order to have an orgasm. So lets say that you are fucking a girl from behind and she not touching her clit and you not touching her clit and her legs are not tightly squeezed together and she claims that she "came". She's lying unless she got some special sex powers other women don't have. And dudes, ya to blame too because ya suppose to be great sex partners and half of you dont know about any of this that Im blogging about... do you know where to find a woman's g-spot? Do you know that clitoris stimulation is important to the orgasm of a female? If you dont know these things than you cant be a great sex partner. Unless you do know these things and just dont wanna put in the work to make a girl cum. Then, you're just a whack sex partner and Ima tell all the girls not to fuck you...lmao. So the next time you getting busy with a shorty...and you get yours off, and she said she got hers off, while your putting back on your clothes. pulling the condom off, or laying down beside her, ask yourself...did you really make her say "ohh"?

-Lazaguncarrier

Fronting Like You Do It For TV! (Laza's opinion on social networks.)

Social networks seem to be a big deal these days. Aside from setting an alarm to wake up every morning, bathing everyday, and buying a metro card every paycheck, sending a tweet or posting a status on facebook has become a part of our routines composed in daily life. They are habitual and addictive. We have these apps on our phone, we login through our computers, we go on thru other people devices...yes its gotten real serious. We have the ability to let others know what we are doing almost every second of the day. Crazy, right???



Just because we have these abilities, does it mean that we have to utilize them? I mean, lets keep it funky for pete's sake...do we really care if you have something in your eye? Or if you have problems sleeping? No, not at all. We are all guilty of it. Posting non important or irrelvant shit that has nothing to do with everyone else. But thats what social networking is all about. Social networks are designed for us to write about our business. Its not about getting yourself out there. Yea, it can be used for promotion but some of us have nothing to promote but what we do in our lives. And Im not knocking anyone for that for each and one of us are free to write whatever the fuck we want. My thing is, when you write and post certain material, becareful of your viewers or dont complain when the things you write gets back to other people who you dont want to know your business.



Facebook and Twitter, lets make this clear, are entirely two different networks. One is more personal than the other. Twitter is made for short, bullshit statuses, facebook isnt. And more than likely, Facebook is a network where majority of the ppl you befriend are ppl you know personally. Twitter is a network where most of your followers are strangers.



There is one thing about social networks that grinds my gears...and that is the people that use them. There are several types of annoying people that use social networks that makes others hate the whole social networking thing all in one.



First you got the people who say everything they are doing.....all the time! Bout to take a shit...bout to go to the store...on 161st...in my car....
Facebook aint for that! I shouldnt be able to tell you how your whole day went by reading your statuses....thats wayyy too much information...



Then you got the people who write about how bad their relationships is, slandering their partner, then 16hrs later writing about how much they love that person. Your friend list doesnt need to know how dysfunctional your relationship is. Its cool to vent but not to the point where ppl can look on your status and know exactly WHO and WHAT you are talking about. Either write about a happy relationship or dont post anything about it at all.



Third, are the people that mix their business with their personal life. Attention models, rappers, singers, artist, promoters, actors...separate facebook or twitter pages are recommended to support or advertise your craft. Having a photo album of flicks from your show or half naked pics from your shoot and then the album next to it has pics from a family outing with ya moms, grandparents and aunts might be a lil.....idk, not professional? Its a conflict of interest. Whatever it is tht your into should be kept separate from your family life.



Fourth are the people who use these networks to try to live a separate life. In reality, you're a married woman with 2 kids and you work for con-edison...but on twitter and facebook...your a single woman who loves to party who's a bartender and is up for ANYTHING. How you two different ppl??? Smh.



Fifth. Ever knew two people who go out with each other who both have facebook accounts but dont have each other as friends? One of them is living foul because why wouldnt you have your significant other as a friend on facebook? Arent ya friends in real life? If you have nothing to hide and are being faithful and honest, I dont see what the big deal is, why two ppl who date cant be friends on a social network if everything is legit and copasetic. But usually its not. Its almost always suspect. You finally break into the page or someone runs back and tells you that your girlfriend or boyfriend is kissing up on some other person in a picture not accessible to you. Dont blame social networks for that, blame your partner for going on a social network trying to live a separate life. The person caught is quick to say that it is everyones fault but their own.
When they are the ones incriminating themselves by posting shit that will get them in trouble.



Sixth, theres the suffocators. The girlfriend that ALWAYS gotta write something on your wall or always have to write something pertaining to you just to let the whole world know that you are hers and she is yours. She even changed her last name to yours and ya not even engaged. She gotta see every new person you add and has something to say everytime a female writes on your wall. We get the picture. We know already. Stop super cuffing.



Seventh, are the spies. The most un-suspecting people running back telling ya business to ppl you dont want to know. They check ya page daily and repeat the shit you write.


Last but not least, you got the people that front like they do it for tv... the ppl who so call have this and that, or do this and that. Trying to convince others that they live a certain way but in reality, how they actually live, is nothing similar. Straight lying. Fronting for people who dont know them. Or trying to trick the people that do.



Which social network person are you?

So it was in the beginning, so it be in the end.

What is it about the beginning of something new that crumbles down to a bumpy middle, and then finally comes to a rough ending?

Perfect examples of this are relationships. They start off swell, towards the middle there's turbulence and when its time to come to a closing, its either you survive the wreck or become one.

We behave good in the beginning, showing the other person what we want them to see, our representative. We dont burp or fart at the table. We dont pick out wedgies. We're polite, respectful, and we do our very best to keep them around. We have so much trust in them that we give them passwords to everything, we see certain things we dont like and ignore it, and we give that other person whatever they want.

The middle, this is where shit gets real. Our representative is worn out. Our TRUE selves come to front row. We are very comfortable. And if we are too comfortable, this might be the middle of the end. Uncensored arguments, no more frequent texts or calls, no more picking up that person from work or surprising them with random gifts, trust, loyalty, and honor are questioned. This is the shit relationships are made of. Your patience, tolerance, integrity, and dignity are challenged...This is the part where you are forced to decide will you rather live in that persons world....or live without them in yours.

In the end, time is put to the test. Even though when its over, its over. Hours, days, weeks, months, and years wont be the deciding factor if someone decides to stick around. At this point, if the good out weighs the bad, it might not be the end. Its safe to assume that both are guilty of wrong, being able to point the finger at each other. Innocence is gone. Very often its not easy for this to be the end. There may be children involved, property, lawyers, money. You never exit the relationship with what you entered with. You come out with less than what you came in with, or you leave with more which can be good or bad.

If its not over in the end, relationships can return to the beginning stages. Or sometimes it really is, the dreadful end. The relationship may be reduced down to a friendship, just sex partners, a partial relationship, or nothing at all. Nothing at all is best, for its no strings attached and both are free to go there separate ways with a clear conscience and a new beginning.

Identifying the Non-Pulling Out Nigga (The Part I Forgot To Mention)

So I was talking to my homeboy the other day and he was like yo Vor, why you aint expose the chicks in your blog about the non-pulling out nigga? I'm like what you mean? He said, "They be liking that shit, they don't want us to pull out, they are just as responsible as we are!"

I thought about that for a second...

And I decided that he had a point...

My blogs can be one-sided at times and I apologize for that (fellas) and yes, ladies, ya play a part when it comes to that too. Most of you chicks KNOW your man is a non pulling out nigga and yet, ya still don't go the distance to protect yourselves. Ya just keep letting him nut in you over, and over, and over, and over, again until something happens and THEN you want to point the finger? Not fair. Take responsibility for your body. If you see the nigga not giving a fuck then who else gonna care about what happens to you? Remember, you are the one that either is going to carry a baby for 9 months or get a fetus sucked out of you. Not him. Stop letting guys control what's gonna happen to your body. We females cant exactly predict when a guy is about to have an orgasm and push him off of us but if you know his timing is bad, his no-condom privileges should be revoked until he learns how to have some control. Simple.

Fun Fact: The pulling out method is not 100% effective because a woman can still get pregnant from pre-seminal fluid.

Over. Out.

"Male and Female Friendships"(The Throwback College Paper)

School: Bronx Community College

Semester: Fall 2006

Grade: A

Note: Essay based on old point of views. Another blog will follow expressing new point of views.

Can Males and Females be Friends and Want Nothing More From Each Other?

"Shavoir, who are you talking to on the phone?" asked my boyfriend. I was on the phone for about a half an hour and it wasn't sounding like I was speaking to one of my girlfriends. Automatically, I knew what my boyfriend was trying to insinuate when he asked me that question. So I told him it was one of my male friends. Why did I do that? For the rest of my conversation with whoever it was I had to deal with his teeth sucking, feet stomping and any other noises he created to display his anger. When I finally got off the phone I asked him, "What's your problem?"

"You know he likes you, right?"

"Don't be silly, he's just a friend. He only sees me as a friend."

"Nonsense, Shavoir. Two people of the opposite sex can't see each other just as being friends. Either one likes the other or they both like each other. Males and females can't be friends. It's just that simple."

"You're crazy," I told him. Deep down though, I knew hew was right. My male friend did like me. Of course I would never admit that to him. As he lectured me for about 15 minutes on why girls and guys cant be friends I wondered was what he was saying true when it came to other people? Can males and females really share a platonic friendship?

Speaking from my own experience I can answer that question with a "no." Almost every friendship I had and still have with a male, either he liked me, I liked him, or we both liked each other. The only time this did not occur was when my male friends were gay. I guess this question depends on the individuals involved in the friendship. I can't say that it is impossible for males and females to be friends (platonically) just because it never happened to me before. I can only say that it depends on the circumstance in which the male and female are friends.

A case where I believe that men and women can be friends is if one of the individuals are gay, both people find each other unattractive physically, intellectually, and emotionally, has already had a previous romantic relationship with each other, or both have the up most respect for their friendship not to cross the line.

A case where I believe that there is a big change that these two sexes can't be friends is if one or both of the friends find each other attractive, aren't gay, have an intellectual or emotional connection or enjoy each others companionship. In a scenario like this, regardless of whether or not if the two people have significant others, a platonic friendship CANNOT exist. I say this not because of my own experiences or anyone else's but because we are human. Humans are going to be naturally attracted to each other because of who we are. Humans all have basic needs and wants that must be fulfilled, and have desires for people we find attractive.

The idea I am basically trying to convey is that whether or not a platonic friendship can exist depends on the two people in the friendship. I have known this to happen but majority of the time there is a possibility that one might like the other and he or she might not feel the same. When this occurs its hard to maintain the friendship because the person who wants more than a friendship is going to feel rejected by his or her friend and eventually the friendship might come to a close. So in a way I understand my boyfriend's point of view about how a male and a female can't truly be friends. However, I still believe that platonic friendships between a male and a female can still exist. Do you believe so?

(My professor answered "yes.")

The "Light-Skinned, Long Haired Girl" Complex (My First College Paper to Make My Blog)

My professor asked my class to write a paper on how we define ourselves (or how others define us) and explain the problems we face with our identity.

School: Wood Tobe-Coburn College

Semester: Fall 2010

Grade: A-

When people see me, I'm often judged before I even open my mouth. A light-skinned black girl with long REAL hair, yeah, that's me. One of two assumptions is usually made: 1)I'm soft, or 2)Im stuck-up. Well I'm glad to say that I'm neither! There's not a stuck up bone in my body and I'm far from a softy. But only the person who took the time out to get to know me would know that I'm the opposite of what many would believe about that kind of girl. Make no mistake, the cocky light-skinned girl and the punk ass light-skinned girl does exist, but they are not as common as most think. Because of the bad rep light-skinned girls have, I'm almost always defending my identity.

Up until...today, people ask me am I mixed. I'm part Filipino along with some other things. However, I still consider myself a black woman. Anytime someone sees a light-skinned girl with long hair they automatically think that they are mixed. Even though there are plenty of light-skinned (and dark-skinned) black females that aren't mixed like I am and have beautiful long hair. This is one of many misconceptions made about the light-skinned girl. That we are all mixed with some other nationality.

Growing up, I remember at some point I wanted to be dark-skinned. Going to school in the Bronx was fine because majority of the kids were hispanic so my features helped me "blend" in. When I first moved to Brooklyn I was six. I was entering this classroom and I was the only one of my "kind". When you're a shy six year-old in a new class, thats the last thing you want to be: "rare", or uncommon. My shy and quiet personality plus my looks made me a target for trouble. I spent half my time in elementary school proving that under all my hair and my complexion, I'm a tough cookie. I always thought that if I were dark skinned I wouldn't have to go so hard to stand up for myself. Every time I switched schools, the same things would occur. The boys would love me, and the girls would be jealous. As I got older and I slowly came out of my shyness, people's theories about me began to change. Great! I went from having to prove to people that I'm not this punk, naive, innocent girl to I'm not some kind of snob that walks around thinking she's the shit. Now a days, people assume either about me or both. Most of the people who assume those things are always wrong and when they get to know me, are in shock. I'm a cool, humble, and tough chick.

Why do people have these assumptions about light-skinned girls? That's a million dollar question that you would have to ask the person that's in charge of judging. As far as other women thinking that we think we are better or "most-preferred" I blame that on the dark skinned man. How often do you see a dark skinned man and a dark skinned girl together? Not often. And how often do you see a dark-skinned man and a light-skinned woman? Very often. I hear men; especially dark-skinned men talk about how they prefer a light-skinned girl or sometimes they dont even want a shorty to be black and light-skinned! You would think it was some type of secret that makes us more special than the other women. I hardly hear a guy talk profoundly about a dark-skinned girl. I never understood that. If there is a light-skinned cute girl standing next to a dark-skinned cute girl, majority of the time the guy chooses the light skin girl. I hate that. To me, its no difference. Beauty is beauty. This is why there's so much tension between the two complexions. Because certain men make it seem as though one is better than the other. If you want to go deeper, lets take it back to slavery, when the master used to rape the female slaves. The female slaves would get pregnant and have light-skin kids, causing issues between the two. It's not easy being light skin, and its not easy being dark-skin. We both face situations where we are forced to prove someone right or wrong. I don't know for certain. Im just theorizing here.

My looks are only a segment of who I am. Neither my complexion nor hair defines me. I define my physical appearance. There is so much more to my identity that just what is on the exterior. My personality, my intellect, my demeanor, those are the qualities that represent me. I'm strong and confident not because of how I look but because of my perception of life. The next time you see a light-skinned girl, do me a favor, and let her tell you who she is, don't try to figure it out.

The Power of a Label. (Owning up to a "Username")

Dating back to when AIM first became popular, I could remember all the crazy ass screenames I used to see. Names like Diva981and Don123, I remember thinking to myself, "hey, I know these people in person, and they are most certainly not divas or dons. But if you had their AIM Screename and didnt know them personally, you would really think they were some motherfukking dons and divas. Lol. But that was long ago. Now, people are calling themselves all type of shit, some I believe dont even know the TRUE meaning of what they call themselves. Yea, I know, it's just "Twitter", "Facebook", "MySpace"...etc. But when you try to live up to a label, it becomes more than just that. And what's even more sillier than trying to live up to a label is giving other people a label. Labels like "Bum", "Basic", "Lame", etc... are thrown around frequently to the person they dislike or dont even know. Like, who the fuck are YOU to call someone 'basic" or "lame"? So what are you? "Un-basic", and "un-lame"? Ya kill me with that shit. And majority of the time. And im dead ass, cause I be on this social networking ish hard,8 outta 10 of who call others these labels, fall into the category of lame or basic. Can't tell them that though. Because PrettyPoppin917 is pretty and fucking poppin and has every right to call Cutegirl516 a basic bitch. Smh. And I dont have a conclusion or a point I'm trying to draw. I'll leave that up to you, the reader. Some of ya thinking I'm going in because someone called me "basic" or "lame". Ha. No. Just an early morning blog written from the top of my head. And again, If you are offended by this blog, then you're probably that basic bitch that thinks she is "Oso Poppin", or that bum dude that is "GucciDown"...(shrugs shoulders). See me, Im just the Lazaguncarrier.

Identifying The Non-Pulling Out Nigga. (Yupp!)

Morning. :)

So I realized this isn't a subject I've touched on yet. But its most certainly an issue.

What is a non-pulling out nigga?

Lets first describe what a pulling out nigga is:

A pulling out nigga is a dude that has unprotected sex with a girl and relies on his "timing' to pull out before he ejaculates inside her to avoid pregnancy.

A non-pulling out nigga is a dude that has unprotected sex with a girl and TRIES BUT FAILS/OR DOESNT CARE to pull out on time before he ejaculates.

Classifying the non-pullion out nigga:

They come in all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds.
You cant tell if he's a non-pulling out nigga just by looking at him.

Things you should know about this type of person:

There are two types: There are the ones that try to pull out but lack control and then there are dudes that dont try at all and dont care about pulling out. This type is very dangerous.

7 outta 10 times the non-pulling out nigga doesnt even want children.

The mentality of that 7 expects you to have an abortion or isn't trying to deal with you if you are keeping it. Real talk.

How to avoid the consequences of a non-pulling out nigga:

-->Condoms.
-->Learn from prior mistakes.
-->Plan B (Morning After Pill)
-->Birth Control

Please, protect yourself from the non-pulling out nigga.

8 Mistakes Guy's Make When "Baggin" a Girl. (Cuffin Season Part 2)

Cuffing season has begun and still, some of you haven't cuffed anything yet and it isn't by choice. Hmmm. Well below, I've highlighted some of the reasons why that may be. Its ok. You still have time to correct your wrongs and still get your cuffing buddy to avoid those long lonely winter nights...

1. You dudes never check ol' girls finger for promise, engagement, or wedding rings. Are you dead ass going to pursue a chick that is involved with someone else?

2. Are you SURE this is the girl you want to bag??? Some of you see the chick one time and try to holla. Approach with care. Even if you dont want to "wife it". It should be someone you've seen at least 3 times.

3. Come correct. Make sure your breath on point, you dont look crusty and ashy, and be well groomed. In other words, be un-deniable.

4.Some of you dudes aint got no G! Where are your G lines? Where are you going without GAME! Dont listen to what other people say, being yourself never works. LOL. J/K. But for real, you gotta have some charm and charisma when trying to bag a girl.

5.If she says she has a man, or tells you for any other reason why she isn't interested, keep it moving! Cuffing season has begun no time to waste if she aint with it so just move it along. Dont proceed to bag a female if she tell you she's TAKEN! We hate that shit. It also gives off the impression that you're so desperate that you cant find someone else who isn't taken.

6. Ok, so you've made it as far as getting her attention and dont know what to do with it. Ask for her number, duh. Not her bbm, not her twitter, not her aim...her number.

7.When we give you the number, dont front or act thirsty! Dont be OD blowing up her phone or stunting like you aint trying to make it happen. Many guys never make it past getting the number...

8. Another mistake made after retrieving the number is some of ya niggas be on some real bum shit! Trying to not spend money and telling her to come over to your house instead of taking her out on a date. Dont invite her in, invite her out! Saying shit like "oh we can have movie night at my crib." No fuck outta here I dont know you like that. I wanna watch a movie in a fucking movie theather just incase I aint feeling you I can say I went to the bathroom and hop in a cab. Im just saying...

Follow this and you should be hand in hand, lip to lip, hip to hip, pelvic to pelvic with the cuffing buddy of your dreams...until April that is.... ;)

A Letter to My Dad. (For Every Little Girl Who Grew Up Without Their Father.)

To the other 50% of why I exist,

So many years have passed but you keep telling me its never too late. It may never be too late to build a future but it might just be too late to change the past. Who knows the person I would have been if you were their when I was growing up. Your absence wasnt your fault (i'll blame the other 50% of my existence for that). I may wonder but I will never wish for it to have been any different. For I am proud of the person I am today and its all because of who I was yesterday. Yesterday I was a little girl who wanted her dad to teach her how to ride a bike or throw a punch. Ive learned all those things just not from you. "How would you know the type of man you want if you dont know your father?" I may not have known you well but that hasn't had an effect on my male preferences. I have not made the best selections in men but my not-so-great choices have taught me what I dont want in a guy, what to expect, and what to not allow. My mistakes have showed me to recognize a bad man when I see one, to appreciate a good one if we ever meet, and to be patient with a guy thats willing to change whats worst to better. I treat every guy accordingly. You probably coulda taught me that a little sooner than I had to learn though, but I doubt if I would have listened, your daughter is slightly hard-headed. But the best lesson is learned by actually taking the class.
But my teacher was late.
You've finally arrived.
And class is still in session...So teach me.



Love,



_______________.

The Guy Who Looked Like He Had Nothing (Living Up To A Higher Standard)

Money dont make the man but the man makes the money...



Hmm early morning epiphany: Perception is a funny thing. Hate to say this...Actually, I dont. I love saying the truth. Many females want a man that looks like he has money rather than a man that actually has money...



I'm on the train one day with my classmate. There's this guy sitting across from us with some dingy, faded, torn jeans. Dirty white-t. Timbalands that have seen better days. It's time to visit a barber. And he has this regular ol' duffle bag. Automatically, my classmate is shitting on him. "Damn, you see that nigga Sha?" Im like yea, I see him, he must had a hard day at work. She's convinced that the clothes he's wearing is an everyday look for him because she must have really thought he walked the street like that just because its a trending style for him. She paid so much attention to his clothing she didnt notice his Apple Iphone 4, the decked out wedding band on his finger, and his work ID hanging out his back pocket.



On the outside to a basic bitch, he looks like a bum. To me, his appearance just showed me these 4 things: a) he is employed, probably by a construction company($$$), b) if his ring was blinged out, imagine what his wifes ring looks like, c) he is the marrying type which means but doesnt necessarily have to be true that he's capable of commitment, d) he likes the finer things in life but doesnt care if he looks like it or not because he lives for him, his wife, and maybe, a family. Last but not least e) though he was rugged-looking, he was kinda cute ;).



Women (some) dont know quality when they see it. They always go for the Ralph Lauren, Burberry, and Gucci wearing nigga ASSUMING he has flocks of dough. The flashy nigga who has all that fly shit because of his girl, his momma or a car accident settlement.This doesnt mean he is a man of quality. Those are often the jerks, the players, and the users. And ya bitches just fall for it all the time. "My man get fly! My man rock Gucci!, My man got money!" No sweetie, ya man LOOKS like he has money but cant afford Popeyes.



This is why boys trying to grow up into men think that showing that you got it is more important than actually having it. They are trying to live up to that same woman who thinks the same way, that looking like a million bucks is by far, more better than actually trying to have a million bucks. Dont get me wrong, physical appearance is VERY important, its the FIRST impression you receive when you meet a person. We all judge each other by our appearance whether its in a good way or a bad way. And trust me, I like a well dressed man just as much as the next chick does. And I'm not saying theres anything wrong with spending money and treating yourself either. All im saying is look at the bigger picture. Dont front on a nigga because his shirt dont cost 500 dollars. Dont play him cus he works so much that he doesnt have time to sit in the barber. Stop feening for that warped piece of glass you think is a diamond.

Quality is always better than quantity.

The "Bad" Friend. (The Blog That Even a Insect Can Relate To.)

Ya already know where this is heading just by the title. Ya know where I'm about to go. Yupp! Im talking about that fucked up friend, the bad influencer, the one thats always getting you into trouble. Ladies. Fellas. We all got that one friend that our man or chick dont want us around. Why? Well, they or should I say we, automatically assume that they are going to pick up their filthy, disgusting habits. We cant help but to think that way. Ya man or ya girl comes home and tells you wild stories about how their friend be doing this, how he/she does that, all types of disloyal shit. Hearing such infidelity can make you think hmmmm..."SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO?"



But that's just natural instincts. Of course if ya man or girl got a shady friend that they hang around closely its only standard to assume that they are going to do some shady shit or is already doing some flaky shit. What's unfortunate is that the "bad friend" so happens to be a true friend to that person you're with. That friend just so happens to be living foul and treating someone else fucked up. Again, by observation, I noticed that out of a group of friends (male or female) theres only about 2 out of that 5 or 6 that actually wants to do the right thing. The others...are single and like to mingle, or cheating and deceiting.



For the people that are involved with a person that has a few fucked up friends I know ya think why cant the good just hang with the good, and the bad chill with the bad? Sorry, but thats not realistic. We cant help who we get along with . You cant possibly prohibit ya man or girl from chillen with someone. You just have to trust that the person you are involved with has a mind of their own. And just because birds flock together it doesnt necessarily mean that they are of the same feather.

GROWN!?

We are quick to say "I'm a grown ass man!", or "I'm a grown ass woman!" But are we really as grown as we say we are? I say "no" and I also say some of us have a lot of growing up to do. Part of being "grown" or growing up is being capable of taking responsibility for our bullshit. I dont care what anyone says, when something fucked up happens folks always want to put the blame on someone else. That shit aint grown at all. Hell, the shit we do we KNOW we shouldn't have done it so why blame someone? Take the L, realize that YOU fucked up, and keep it pushing. I cant stand people who make mistakes or get caught doing wrong and dont wanna own up to it or admit it to themselves and others that its their fault. What I learned is that people sometimes just need someone to blame. Being grown is more than just moving out your mom crib, making your own money, paying credit card and phone bills or being a parent. It's the responsibility you take on when performing these actions is what makes you an adult. So the next time you do something real dumb and get caught or make a legitimate mistake, dont look for someone to blame. Dont find an excuse; man up!

Is Age Really Nothing But A Number? (A Double Standard Concept)

This is a phrase I often like to quote but is age really nothing but a number???

In some situations, yes. Age is just a numeric symbol. Other times, age can really say alot. And I know its not just me. Its society as well. Lets look at some examples:

Be honest. When you see an older woman and a younger guy, we tend to find that pretty weird. But if you see a grown as man with a girl so young she can be his daughter, we think nothing of it. I thought age didnt matter tho???

You a young adult lets say...23 and your superiors are 19 and 20 years old... Wouldnt you feel a way?

Your high school teacher is about 5 years older than you. Are you really looking at them as an authority figure?

Shit, if your moms had you at 12, dont frown, ya know there is 12 year-old moms out there, would you guys really have that parent/child relationship?

Point being, age is definitely a factor in life. Maybe not in all lifes situations, but somewhere, somehow, it certainly has definition. It can determine the level of respect given, the amount of attention you receive, and the relationships you carry. You can date a man that is older than you by some years and you can almost bet that he will kinda treat you like his daughter. If your supervisor is damn near the same age as you, your not going to respect their authority as much as you would to a supervisor who's more older. Your 17 in highshool and your teacher is 23 (lets say the student is a boy and the teacher is an attractive woman) you are gonna to try to get an A+ in Sex Ed ;).

Age does not determine maturity, experience, intelligience, or talent what so ever.

You can be 25 years old and have the roughest life and have been through so much and have gained much experience. You can be 16 and more maturer than a 22 year-old. You can be a fifth grader and smarter than the average adult. You can be 11 years- old and spit 25 bars and they can be the best 25 bars a person has ever heard, better than the so-called rappers that are famous today.

Pay Me Back!

"Yo, lemme borrow twenty dollars?"
"Can I hold ten?"
"I need to hold your laptop."

Hell no I cant lend you twenty dollars. No you cant hold ten. And you definintely not holding my laptop. I for one am a person who does not believe in lending or borrowing. If I do, that means I dont expect to receive it back or I really dont care about it. I never lend out what I cant afford to give. And I dont let people hold or use anything I cherise or means a lot to me. Too much fuckery comes with lending out your shit. You always gotta harrass a motherfucker to get it back and 7 outta 10 times you dont even see it again. Same as with letting someone hold your computer or flat iron. That shit never comes back to you the same way you lent it out. If I let anyone borrow money its never a high amount and if I dont get it back I wont miss it.

However, I've seen others who lend out what they dont have and feel arkward when a certain amount of time has passed and they havent seen it. Then its like the person dont wanna ask for their money because they dont wanna come off as "feening" or "hard up". Fuck that, I lend someone money its always discussed when they giving it back, what time, what form etc. When that day and time has expired, Im definitely inquiring about money like umm, so ima need that ten i lent you last week. Same with clothing. If I let some borrow a shirt or an acceessory, they can have that shit. Because I would NEVER let someone hold or wear an item that I truly adore. And majority of the time when you lend out your clothes you always get it back with some permanent stain or rip, its stretched out, it smells, or you dont even see it again. Ya homegirl walking around with it on right in front of your face either because she had it so long that she forgot its yours or she just got you for your shit. Like damn, did I just get robbed?

And forget about it, my electronics, thats a definite no-no. My MacBook, my Ninteindo DS, both my PSP and PSP Go, or any other device that I cherish... no one is leaving my house with those. That shit gets lost or broken you cant even get mad at the person who you let borrow those things. You need to be mad at yourself for trusting that person. Question to the borrowers out there.... Why ya make people come hunt ya down for their shit??? You know you borrowed someones shit, you know a month has passed and you aint return their stuff. You ducking and hiding, hard to contact, walking down different blocks to avoid them, ignoring their calls and text. Ya know ya wrong. Just give the people back their shit. Or dont ask to borrow it. You aint got the money, you just lost your job, or you gotta by diapers well shit, let a nigga know. When you avoid it just makes you look shady. You ruin your borrowing priveleges and you might get fucked up because of it. It doesnt matter how small or big the loan was. Its princple. You borrow something, you return it. No one should have to look for you asking "WHERE"S MY SHIT!"

The Explanation. (My Light and Sweet Blog)

I cry 'cause you hurt too much.
I'm tight 'cause you dont listen too much.
I'm jealous 'cause you flirt too much.
I'm in your phone 'cause you lie too much.
I'm ready to fight 'cause I caught you too much.
I'm suspicious 'cause you with your homegirls too much.
I resent myself 'cause I forgave you too much.
I'm tired 'cause we argue too much.
I stay 'cause I love you too much.
I'm leaving 'cause I love me too much.

"If You Got Nine People Tight Over Your Blog, You're Saying Something Right." (Notes From The Author)

Tristan told me if I got nine people tight over my blog, I'm saying the right things. Well Tristan, you were right. Shout outs to you.

Ummm, yea. Soo......my blog has been causing quite an uproar. Silently. I'm quite surprised actually.

Ha! Lemme stop lying to ya'll. I'm not surprised. At all. I speak on topics that cause arguments. Not on purpose of course. These are just things that spark my interest. For those of you who don't know who I am, lemme tell you the things that I am NOT and we can continue on from there.

I ain't no therapist, and I'm not studying to be a therapist. As flattering as it sounds, don't call me Dr. Phil. I'm not an expert, I just write off my experiences and the experience of others. And no, I'm not some bitter single female trying to break up relationships. I don't do mass surveys, I'm not some lonely housewife, some girl at home bored and in need of attention, and I DONT know everything.

What I am,

A 21 year-old female who has years of experience in relationships. I also so happen to be that person that other people confide in about their problems (they could be male or female) and what I do is take my experiences and evaluate their experiences, put them together and then I convey a THEORY. And please, I speak to a lot of people. So don't read my blog and assume that it's in reference to you. As a matter of fact, lemme just say this one time...

I write for many reasons. I choose to share my thoughts with the public because I feel a few of you guys might learn something from what I write, gain a better understanding of a situation that may be similar to what i discuss, or just need to feel like "you ain't tripping" and that there are other people in the world who think just like you.

My words aren't gold. But I'm definitely bankable. I don't say it if I can't prove it. More than likely I've been-there-done-that or I know someone who's been there and done that.

I don't write my blogs for validation. You don't have to like what I write. Or agree with it. Or approve. These are my opinions, ideas, theories, and thoughts. If you are a frequent reader you already know this:

I curse in my blogs. Its my blog. And I will express myself however I want to. I can say fuck, bitch, shit, and dick because its MY BLOG. Its just my RAW way of saying how I feel. And besides, doesn't curse words make the read a little more...interesting? ;)

My blogs are general. Don't you think for one second that I sit at my MacBook and think about a certain person in my life and I decide to write a blog based on them. Because I don't have time for it. So relax. I like to believe that my blogs can relate to anyone, anybody, female or male, black or white.... Its a blog for everyone.

I don't purposely mean to be offensive. I just speak what a lot of people don't. Or I speak for those who don't know how to effectively say what they feel. I write for the hell of it. I have something to say, people need something to read. And thats just pretty much it. Im uncut and uncensored because... thats how life is. However, I often bite my tongue and maybe speak 15 percent of what I actually think. So my blog is the vault to my true feelings about certain subjects.

ANNNNNDD another THING,

If you read my blogs...

And you feel like your that homewrecking ass dude/chick...

Your that cheating partner...

You're that nice guy that everybody looks over...

You're that dumb bitch that puts her triflan man before her girls...

You're that person who be snooping thru their partners phone...

If you feel like my blogs apply to you, maybe its time you get your shit together and change all the things that are wrong in your life. Don't read my blogs for answers. Because you wont find them here.

And again, its ok to to not agree with me, and if you don't read my blog after this posting thats ok too. But I'ma still talk my shit. :).

For those of you who read my blogs, enjoy it, relate to it, and don't take the shit I say personal, I appreciate you for appreciating me.

"Take it how you want. A close mouth don't get fed."--- Jay-Z

Re-Posting of My First Blog... (In Case Some of You Forgot.)

Hi my name is... Sha'voir (don't forget the apostrophe). But most folks call me... Vore, Vory whats the story?, Sha-Sha, Chipmunk, Vee, Ms. Airhead, and Shavorington. But I like to call myself... The Lazaguncarrier. I am... One of the best people you may ever meet. And this is... My Blog. I decided to create this because... I need to express myself. I hope you... Enjoy what you are about to read. But most importantly... Learn a thing or two. I will write... Whatever I want. You do not... Have to like it. But I will... Say what I feel.

5/24/10

by Lazaguncarrier

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