If These Insects Dont Get "The Fuck On!"...

This past Friday was just like any other Friday. Didnt expect anything unusual or strange. Just had got home from a double date with Michelle and Celsus. Had a great time excluding the hair I found in my pudding cake. ;(. At UNO's in BAYRIDGE. Yea thats right, I'm putting restaurants on blast in my blog. So what.

Anywho, I over ate and was going to the bathroom to "release my self" and just like all the other times I take a sqwat, not thinking twice about it. You know, real nice and comfortable. Suddenly, I feel something crawl on my butt cheek. At first I thought it was a piece of loose string from the pajama pants I had on so I took my hand and try to move it away. To my surprise, there was a biege/brown spider that fell off my ass and into the toilet water. I didn't scream. I didnt cry. My SOUL yelled. I came out the bathroom a different woman.

At first I was VERY embarrassed. So I didn't say anything. I just held my left butt cheek hoping that the spider didn't poke venom into my bloodstream and that I had 48hrs to live.

So it's over 48hrs and I'm still alive. But my toilet experience will never be the same again. I look, flush, a double look making sure there is no critters waiting to bite/crawl up me. No pics sorry even though I know a bunch of you are sick fuckers and would like to see the spider bite on my butt cheek. But I wont give you the satisfaction. :). I told Jermaine that I was scared to use the bathroom and he told me "That's what you get. All that shit that you do has finally bit you in the ass." Lets have a round of applause for Jermaine's corny-ass joke.